Things you can do with an apple:

Put it on your head and let somebody shoot it off with an arrow
Cook up some apple fritters for your cowboy friends
Check the "girl" to make sure she doesn't have an Adam's apple
Put some poison in it and give it to your rival so you'll be the fairest in the land
Test how American someone is
Use it to keep a doctor away
Let one fall on your head and discover a law of gravity
Compare them to oranges
Get together a gang and call yourselves the Apple Dumpling Gang
Give it to a teacher
Mash it up and feed it to Grandpa or the baby
See how far it falls from the tree
Bob for it
Name your city a Big one
Put a cute little worm in it and use it as a library or school graphic
Put a pot on your head and become a tree planting legend
Make hard cider out of them to get your groove on during the Prohibition
Eat it when you aren't supposed to and damn all of mankind

Well, that was a fruitless activity. . . (tee hee) but it was fun.