August 26, 2004
1.) Remembering, describing, or visualizing the make and model of cars. Incurable disability, I think I inherited from my mother. I can, however, recognize my own car, and Patricks. Flashcards, baby. They make all the difference.
2.) Drawing. Oh sweet mercy, I am bad at it. Here's an example of what was supposed to be a princess, but I wasn't paying attention and instead drew something that traumatized my child forever. I think I saw this same woman on an episode of Cops. You can imagine what her crime was. (notice the prince screaming in horror behind her.)
3.) Timing the toaster. I burned three, THREE bagels the other morning. The fourth one was barely edible, and only then because of a ridiculous amount of cream cheese. I cry over this.
4.) Keeping up with earrings. The thing is, it's never my fault. I mean, I left them right there. Honestly. Just one second ago! Side note: I know you love me, but please don't buy me diamonds. Trust me. Ask my parents.
5.) Judging distance. This is highly debilitating. 5 feet? 20 feet? 50 yards? It's all the same to me. I'm sorry. I try to be smart, but this is the moment you're going to see my eyes glaze over.
6.) Closely related to number 5, estimating the time it takes to get somewhere. I'm just shooting in the dark, don't ever believe me when I tell you I think it only takes an hour to get somewhere. I'm lying. I have no clue. I'm still going to try to help you out, cause that's the kind of person I am. Helpful, huh?
7.) Spotting whatever it is that you're pointing at. Sadly, I've missed all kinds of cool things because I have this handicap. Don't get mad at me- I really wanna see that escaped kangeroo at the edge of the woods but I CAN'T SEE IT! WHERE??? Oh, too late. Crap.
8.) Knowing a good price for ground beef. This one is a mystery to me. After buying and cooking it for at least eight years, you'd think I would have come up with a good, average price to look for. But no. It just won't stick in my head.
9.) Remembering to remind people of things they've asked me to. Please don't depend on me for that. I have excellent intentions of reminding you of whatever it was, if I could only remember what that was.
10.) Coming up with the very last item for a list. I suck at that.
I suck at remembering ppl's names. Somewhere between my ear drum and my brain, the name turns into 'blah'. And then I start to get embaressed b/c no matter how many times I ask them to repeat it, all I hear is "Hi. My name is Blah".
Another thing I can't seem to do is remember that my Aunt Debbie has a large, wooden, bee wind-chime on her porch. I am constantly getting my head tangled in it!! As I'm going up the little steps onto the porch I'm like "Ok, there's the wooden bees, I'm not gonna hit my he-OW!!!!" *shakes head* The Bees are about a foot away from the stairs (which is only 3 steps anyway) you'd think I'd still be aware of The Bees, but no!!
My friends seem to take great delight in watching me try to untangle my hair from the wings of The Death Bees. *sigh*
