Today, one of the Short Ones became a little less short. Wrenn turned 4. In celebration of the event, we are NOT having a hurricane. Hoorah!! It barely, no wait, it didn't EVEN rain here! Traffic going back into N.O. was nuts- schools closed just because of that- but that's a small complaint in light of things. Now, what to do with the fifty gallons of water and twenty-five cans of tuna? Man. We just finished using all our Y2K stuff*. If it's not preparation for one apocalypse, it's another!

Anyway, we took Wrenn to the toystore to spend her birthday money from her Papaw (all Southern girls have at least one papaw, you know), and it was fun. I'm not being sarcastic- it actually was fun! She was excited about the utopia of toys, and Eli was beside himself in the car section. She had ten dollars to spend, and she decided on a Strawberry Shortcake doll, which we all agreed was an excellent choice. On the sly, Patrick bought her a Big Wheels and we'll surprise her with it at her party on Saturday. (ugly subject/verb agreement in that sentence. Apologies to all the grammar sensitive types out there. Please don't send me hate mail again.) While we were there, we saw My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite, Transformers, and Carebears. Flashbacks aren't just for druggies anymore, compadres. Apparently, the 80's are alive and well, and taking over toystores everywhere. No peyote necessary for this little trip down memory lane.

It does bring up a question, though. Can they not come up with anything new that's cool? Don't get me wrong- I love that Wrenn's playing with some of the same great toys I did. But our toy designers are totally cashing in on the Old School. Suspiciously, they show up for work at 11 am everyday. And aren't they taking some excessively long lunch breaks? And is an atari really considered a "business expense"? I think not. Something's a little funny there, my friends. Funny indeed.

But on the flipside, I don't want my kid idolizing Brats either. Sorry to state the obvious, but what an attitude problem! Tell me, who do you think is gonna give you some lip? Sweet little Strawberry? Or the Brat? I'll give you a hint. She's slathered on some lip gloss in preparation to run off at the mouth. Guess.

And hey- is the Brat giving me the hand? That little such-and-such! And it's clear that she just dissed Strawberry about her shoes. "Those boots are SO 1988. Pullease," she sneers.

Poor Strawberry.

Is it wrong to shake a doll, until, like, her head pops off? No? Fantastic.

Well, that's the minutia of the day. Fascinating material isn't it? I mean, doesn't that make you want to visit APOG every single day? I'm really quite surprised myself. I'm an endless fount of relevent, cutting edge, thought provoking material, yesiree!

Next post, something diff. Something dazzling. Something you absolutely don't want to miss.

Now I have to go. My atari hand is killing me.**

*This was just a joke. We used up all our Y2K supplies by 2002.
**This, sadly, is not a joke. I had an atari-related injury in the 4th grade that acts up in damp weather. Dang you, Frogger!!! I'll get you yet!