To: The Endocrinology System
CC: Cerebellum, Brain Stem
From: The Cerebral Cortex
Date: Week 9 of Fetal Development

We need to have a talk.

First off, I want you to know I appreciate all that you do for this company. The pituatary, excellent work there. Hypothalamus- top shelf. You really seem to know your business, and I don't even have to tell you what to do anymore. You've truly learned your way around the office, and that's terrific.

However. I do want to bring up the mood swings. We've had some complaints, that you're a little unpredictable. And that you're developing a rather blunt vocabulary. For the record, it is not appropriate to tell anyone to stuff anything (i.e. the remote control) anywhere on or in their person. This is simply not an acceptable response, no matter how fast they are clicking through the channels or what the volume level is set on. And, it is good to note, that people around you still have feelings, and you should refrain from calling them nutjobs, freaks, and &^#@$. You can see how this will benefit local communication and partnership, and increase pleasant interactions overall.

It's also been brought to my attention that you have developed a severe reaction to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. While I cannot forbid you from outside interests, I do encourage you to seek hobbies that don't leave you sobbing inconsolably. I really don't get why you're crying anyway, but it's becoming a spectacle, and I think even Ty would admit to that. Perhaps it is best to avoid programs of this nature altogether for the next seven or eight months.

And lastly, I wish to address the levels of nausea that you've provoked in several of the vital organs, such as the stomach and esophagaus. I am unaware of a pre-existing conflict that would cause so vicious an attack on these gentle components, but if there is a problem, we need to discuss it. If you are unable to resolve this issue on your own, please see me in the restroom and we can review the contents again. And I shouldn't have to remind you that dry heaving and heartburn fall into this gastric category.

You're doing a great job in many other areas, and I'm sure that if you apply yourself, you'll improve in these as well.

Please don't point that finger at me. This is precisely the type of behavior I am referring to. It's not nice.

Sincerely,
The Cerebral Cortex