Today, I:

-Woke up with a headache that was specially cooked up for me by the Devil himself. My eyeballs are throbbing evilly, STILL.
-Wore a maternity shirt for the first time, and felt rather ridiculous. Yet... comfy. And not at all pregnant.
-Ate, no make that INHALED two Hostess "E" cupcakes, and talked impressively fast for the next three hours, much to the chagrin of my coworkers.
-In the middle of this talkfest, TOTALLY spilled the beans about a pregnant co-worker to the BOSS... I swear, I thought she was telling people, but NO. Horror.
-Forgot to pay the water bill. Luckily, they turned it off to help me remember. They did turn it back on this afternoon though, after I had to LEAVE WORK to pay it, after a frantic call from my husband.

Sigh.

Update: I also attempted to leave work an hour early. I put on my coat, scarf, grabbed my bag, and said, "Well, I don't know where the girl is who comes in next, but my shift is over... so I guess I'm going."

Blank stares for a minute, then everyone burst out laughing at me. I still had an hour to go. Boy, I looked like a blooming idiot. I laughed so hard I cried though.

What is wrong with me today?