May 26, 2005
Today is Positive Affirmation Day.
Some time in the middle of the night, during one of Luke's snack attacks, I was reflecting on the current State of Shannon, and realized that aside from being justifiably tired and hormonal, I have also been a tad negative. (Patrick says "tad" might be an understatement, by the way. So I hit him. Kidding.) Anyway, I realized that I was burying myself in negative thoughts. My list of things to feel guilty about kept growing, and every time I turned around, I had something derogatory to say to myself in my head. Bad mom! Bad friend! Bad wife! I had absolutely NOT been cutting myself any slack mentally, even though I know this is a period of adjustment. It's hard to accept that you can't be Supermom, Superwife, and Superfriend all the time. I expected too much and I was being very hard on myself about it.
When I realized what I was doing, I decided it should be different. So, today, every time I thought something discouraging, I consciously reminded myself of something I'm doing right. I tried to see the good in the moment, and stop feeding myself such negative thoughts. How can I expect to have a positive attitude if all I tell myself is how bad I am doing? Where is the love, people? (Thank you Black Eyed Peas... you are so wise)
So anyway, today was better than yesterday. Not that it's been terrible... but it's been hard. And overwhelming. And I don't want to let that overshadow how special this time is. So, I'll continue to make the effort to see the bright side of things, even if I'm still in my pajamas at 3 in the afternoon, even if the laundry piles higher than Montezuma, and even if the kids don't get their teeth brushed until well after lunch.
'Cause I am doing some stuff right. Everybody has a full belly. Everybody gets a hug and kiss when they need it. And everybody can wait two minutes for whatever it is they need without exploding. We've got the basics covered.
Y'all should try a Positive Affirmation Day. It feels pretty dang good. And I'll bet you've been a little too hard on yourself lately, too.
Hey Shannon,
I know your struggles, but this time is a very special time in your life. Right now you are the most important person to 3 little ones (and one big one) and they don't see the pile of laundry or notice your pj's at all. They see your hugs, your kisses, your stories. That's what they will remember. The adjustment will come, just allow yourself this time to rest and relax!! Millions of other women have juggled 3 children and you will too (and you will do a far better job than most, I may add!!). I have all the confidence in the world that you will "raise up a child in the way he should go" and that one day your "children will rise up and call you blessed". Those little cherub faces bless you every day when they smile at you, when they give you an extra hug just because, when they TRY so hard to be good. Enjoy these moments and treasure them in your heart. They will pass all too quickly.
May God bless you in a special way today, Shannon! Love you much
Posted by: Aunt Dianna at May 27, 2005 06:56 AMMy wife recently had to give my sister-in-law a speech about this very issue. She was going through the post partum after the birth of their 3rd child and all she could talk about was what she wasn't getting done. Candice reminded her of what she was doing and also reminded her that she is not nor will ever be perfect. I'm oversimplifying it, but the sister-in-law is feeling much better.
Look for the silver lining, it's always there...and yes, you are doing much more than you are giving yourself credit for. Wives and mothers...I simply can't say enough good about all that ya'll do and are never praised or recognized for.
I think you ARE Superwoman. I admire you very much and more importantly, I know your husband and kids do, too.
Posted by: annie at May 28, 2005 07:31 PMWhen I was in the midst of childrearing as you are now, I didnt know it, but those were the best times of my life. We were poor and it seemed hard at times but God provided. He gave me patience and a huge love and committment to do what was best for my family. I still remember being greeted with the happy, forgiving faces of my children each morning with hope of a great day and a great life ahead. You are doing a terrific job. I'm so proud of you.I love you. Mom
Posted by: mom at May 30, 2005 08:54 AM