September 27, 2005
Okay, so I've mentioned our upcoming trip to Baltimore in November. It's just five weeks away, and I'm so excited I could pass out - except for one matter. Luke.
He'll be a week shy of 6 months at that time, and I'm not sure if I am ready to leave him for five days. I never left Wrenn and Eli for that long - not until they were at least a year old.
One the one hand, this trip would be a lot easier without him. On the other hand, what if he isn't ready for that kind of seperation? The last thing I want is for him to be a thousand miles away and needing Mama! And then there are the Babysitters to consider. I trust my mom and mother-in-law implicitly, but these three can be a serious handful! Especially if you are on your own with them. Patrick and I have to tagteam to get through the day - I can't imagine that our mothers would still be sane after dealing with them all alone. I don't want to put them in a bad situation, or take advantage of them.
But the thought of lugging all the baby gear around an airport - trying to find a place for naps- and sightseeing with him in tow.... well - that's daunting.
I would love- truly LOVE- to spend some time alone with my husband, but maybe that's a luxury I can't afford just yet. Is it selfish of me to want that? Is it wrong to choose something that I want more than my child would probably want?
Thoughts, people. Give me something to chew on here.
I don't think it's selfish of you to want to spend time with him without the kiddies there.
Posted by: Megan at September 27, 2005 09:03 AMHey Shannon! I am assuming that because you bought the tickets and made the plans for the kids to go to the grandparents’, that you and Patrick talked about it, and he ultimately agreed/decided that your plans are good. I also am assuming that you have told him of your hesitation and guilt (if you haven’t, you should share these doubts with him). Since your plans are still a “go,” I am assuming he is still of the mind that you should go. Submit to your own husband in all things! Enjoy the freedom that this is his decision, that God blesses your submission and be thankful that God has given you a loving man who watches out for you, wants what is best for you and each child and will be responsible for this decision before God. You have done what you should in making your thoughts and concerns and needs known to him. You are freed to prepare the kids, maybe do something special with them and/or spend one-on-one time with each (and I would love to help in any way I can, specifically through free babysitting) before you leave, prepare yourself, plan what you and Patrick will get to do and where you want to go together (and even tell the kids about it so they can picture it), and just get plenty of Baby Loot Sugies!!!
Posted by: Debby at September 27, 2005 09:42 AMI know how you feel, Shannon. It really took me a while to leave Mark, but especially Madelynn. I think I even hurt my mom's feelings one time. She wanted to keep Madelynn overnight and I just wasn't ready even though I know I needed that time. On the other hand, you MUST have some time alone with your husband! I think you should go without Luke (just call every hour!) Just kidding. I think you should go and thoroughly enjoy yourselves!
Posted by: Rhonda at September 27, 2005 08:12 PMGo and enjoy yourself!! You and your husband need some one-on-one time together. Your children will grow up and be gone someday but Patrick will be around for a lot longer, and it does your marriage good to just focus on it every once in a while. Plus it gives the grandparents something to do! Have fun and try to relax. Your kids will also remember this special time they have with Grandma and Grandpa. And over time they will also come to realize how important your marriage is. You won't regret it, I promise!!
Posted by: Aunt Dianna at September 27, 2005 08:37 PMI would also add something here to try and convince you to go, but the last four comments pretty much sum up what I would say, so it would be pointless. In fact, me even TYPING this is pointless. However, beyond all the utter pointlessness, I do have a point: Go! You'll have fun!
......
You can tell my brain isn't functioning well, can't you?
Posted by: Gatlin at September 27, 2005 08:57 PMGo, Shannon, and enjoy every minute....and tell the guilt to get gone! The fact that you worry about leaving them behind shows what a good mom you are, but you have loved them well, and they will survive without you for 5 days (sorry, but tis true!) and they will be SO excited when you get back...absence truly does make the heart grow fonder...unless, of course, you are planning to be gone for 5 YEARS!!! In that case, you should feel guilty for leaving them behind! And as for worrying about leaving the grandma's with such a handful, it's more like an armful of hugs your'e leaving them with! Go, and have fun....and be a young couple on vacation for once in your life! Pretend it's your honeymoon!
Posted by: aunt j at September 28, 2005 07:20 AMOne of the most important things you can do to make your children feel loved, safe and secure is to let them SEE you and Patrick love one another... if they see and hear and feel the strength and power of your love and devotion to one another... they will know it is strong enough to include them, too...
That said... date nights and occasional honeymoons are good ways to strengthen the love and devotion you and Patrick have for one another... thereby strengthening the safety net under and around your children...
lol... all that to say this... GO... it'll be good for you... which is ultimately good for the babies...
i don't want to go against the flow here, but i did want to tell you that i recently flew with my 6 mo. old (standby, no less!) by myself and it wasn't that hard. it actually gave us some sweet play time and she was the perfect age to flirt with everyone on the airplane. i had her stroller and my purse and checked the carseat and luggage. logistically it wasn't that bad and if my husband had been along it would have been a breeze. don't let travel worries be a reason not to take him along- just go with your instincts.
Posted by: kate at September 29, 2005 11:24 PMDump the kid.
Posted by: Joey at September 30, 2005 09:39 AM