A school chum of Patrick's, let's call her "Em" for the sake of being all mysterious and whatnot - related a very funny story to me that I must blog. Must. I've literally been laughing about this all day.

(Sorry, Em. This has to be done, for the good of the country.)

She's in China interning in Beijing, and aside from the lovely pictures and goodies I'm sure she's collecting, she's also busy establishing an international profile as Ambassador of Embarrassment. (ooh, you like that? I just made that up on the spot. I am SO good! Shut up.) Her new position may not be good for her, but it's great entertainment for the rest of us.

Em's been taking a taxi everywhere, and needed to know what to say to the driver to get him to stop. She was told to say, "Daul Sol" or something - I sooo don't remember what the actual phrase was. Anyway, whatever it was, it worked, they stopped every time.

So, she's in a massage parlor one day (hey, it's Beijing. You do that there.) And this guy is giving her a massage, but he's getting a little intense and mashing down on her a bit too hard in his zealousness. So Em squeeks out, "Daul Sol!" to get him to stop... and he falls out laughing. Yeah. You know that's not a good sign. Em is confused, but the massage ends and problem is solved.

Later, she's telling this to some of her Chinese friends over dinner, and they all have the same reaction the guy did. Noodles may or may not have come out their noses, I don't know. In between desperate gasps for air, they gleefully inform her that "Daul sol" does not actually mean "stop".

What poor, dear Em yelled out at her surprised masseur was, "I have arrived!"

Nice.

Internship in Bejjing: 12,000 yuan.
Traditional Chinese Massage Service: 600 yuan.
Humiliating yourself in a foreign country: priceless.