I might be crazy, but the kids and I are taking a trip next week. We're going to make the rounds, visiting family until we drop of sheer exhaustion. First we're going to Amory, MS to my Aunt Janet's house. We'll hang out on her wraparound porch, and enjoy the country life. We'll cook-out, swim, visit some family gravesites, and hit the antique stores around town. I can't wait! Then we'll go to my parent's house for the weekend of the 4th, and meet some other folks coming into town. I get to meet Aunt Vickie's fiance, who better bring his game to impress me! (Just kidding Mike, I know you'll be great!) After a few days there, we'll head to Monroe to my inlaws, where more fun will be had.

I will be blogging as I have internet access, and taking lots of pictures to post later.

To those of you we'll see shortly, I have one thing to say-- Get ready, 'cause the circus is coming to town.

Coming from my two year old, "You smell like a baby" isn't a compliment. He thinks Luke is the very essence of stinky, and has adopted that new phrase to describe anything that smells less than pleasant.

I just love boys.

I've put a lot of images up lately-- is this blog becoming too graphics intensive? Does it take too long to load? I must have a short attention span, because if I have to wait too long for a webpage to load, I'll just leave. I don't want that to happen to APOG. Lemme know.

Current Mood:

Aah, coffee. Thank you, Mother Nature (but why should I be surprised, she totally gets it, being a fellow mother and all).

So, today's plan is basically to repeat yesterday, but do it a little better. I can get the house relatively clean, but I have a hard time keeping up with the laundry. Luke is a clothes monster. He will dirty anything and anybody that comes within shooting range. Love the kid, don't get me wrong. But he can do some serious damage to the clothes.

Besides housework, I need to spend more time with the kids individually. Wrenn wants to do "schoolwork", which is so easy to do if I can just make myself sit down with her. She has workbooks that she loves, and I need to foster that desire to learn more. We'll be doing actual homeschooling with her in the Fall, so these practice sessions are a good start.

Eli could use some one on one, too. I think I'll try to play with some blocks or something with him today, while Wrenn is occupied elsewhere. He is much more self sufficient than she is. Just give him a truck to push around, and he's in happy land. I don't want to forget about him because of that, though.

They basically play with each other most of the day, or follow me around while I do stuff. But I am a firm believer in "Entertain Yourself". I think it's important that they not depend on me to keep them occupied every second of the day. I have to be careful though, that I still spend quality time with them. They need that, and so do I.

It's funny how up and down I still am these days. One day, I'm feeling like the world is beating the crap out of me, and the next I'm thinking, hey, I can do this! I'll be glad to get to a point where life levels out a bit. It will, won't it? Please? Or is this just life with three?

Well, coffee's cold, and it's time to get out of my jammies, so that's all for now.

The day awaits. Let's see what we can make of it.

Seen this around the blogosphere, so naturally, I want to do what the Popular Kids are doing.

TEN Random things about me:

10. I make my own trail mix. (is that normal?)
9. I'm a bad "hammerer". (stupid nails)
8. I hate putting away silverware. (oh the horror)
7. My fingernails grow abnormally fast. (too much calcium?)
6. I am obsessive about orderly eyebrows. (please pluck or wax or something)
5. I won't buy books, because, hello- the library!! (does this make me cheap?)
4. I am addicted to shows like Current Affair, E News, The Insider. (my shame knows no end for this one)
3. I can't keep my checkbook balanced for more than two months. (that blasted debit card)
2. I once got my shoe caught in an escalator in a mall, and it literally shredded apart. (keds)
1. Deep down, I am afraid it will happen again. (mommie!)

NINE Places I've Visited:

9. How
8. sad
7. is
6. this
5. ?
4. I've
3. barely
2. traveled
1. anywhere.

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

8. Have a room in my house painted red. (gaudy, cathouse red, and I make no apologies for it.)
7. Learn how to decorate a cake. (and m&m's don't count)
6. Visit New York. (to see all the crazy people.)
5. Experience virtual reality. (is that even around anymore?)
4. Travel overseas. (is this so much to ask?)
3. Write an article for a magazine. (and get paid for it, yeah!)
2. Race a horse. (onward, Black Beauty!)
1. Skydive. (this one scares me.)

SEVEN of My Favorite Things:

7. Wrenn's curls. (boingelicious)
6. Unexpected letters. (that aren't bills)
5. Foot massages. (especially if I'm not paying for it!)
4. Finding money in my coat pocket from last year. (bless you, forgetfullness!)
3. Tomato sandwiches. (ripey goodness!)
2. Sleep. (heaven thy name is REM)
1. Epic movies. (I'm a sucker for period wardrobes)

SIX Things I Believe In:

6. Family. (foundation)
5. Creativity. (makes us better people)
4. God. (exists)
3. Karma. (what goes around...)
2. Music. (moves us)
1. Success. (you're responsible for your own)

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of:

5. Letting people down. (i hope you're not disappointed by that. haha)
4. Big roaches. (HONEY -KILL IT!!)
3. Aquatic predators. (if it swims with teeth and it doesn't answer to Flipper, I will kill it. sorry, animal right's activists. I just don't want to be ingested.)
2. Raising my children alone. (don't die on me, Patrick!)
1. Not knowing what to do in an emergency. (is it five compressions and one breath?)

FOUR of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom:

4. My down mattress (damn you summertime for making me put it away)
3. My sheets. (thread count matters, people.)
2. My wall color. (hello terracotta)
1. My candle holders. (nothing witty to say about them. sorry)

THREE Things I Do Everday:

3. Change diapers. (every day. every night.)
2. Brush my teeth. (get thee away, plaque.)
1. Make my bed. (like my momma taught me.)

TWO Things I Am Trying Not To Do Right Now:

2. Snack! (see trail mix reference)
1. Stress about money. (which drives me to snacking.)

ONE Person I Want To Meet Right Now:
1. Brittany Spears. (I'M SO KIDDING. It's Kevin Fedderline I really want to meet.)

Okay, now I'm Popular, cause I did what everybody else did.

Why do I still feel so empty?*

*being silly, which means, it's time for bed.

You guys know how I feel about rubber chickens, so continuing the tradition, I present you with this beauty. Here's my caption, now add yours!

"I regret to tell you this, Mr. Chicken, but you're displaying the early symptoms of what we call Rubberification of the Poultry. It's incurable, irreversible, and eventually leads to Hilarity. I'm so sorry."

I feel a story creeping around in my head again. It usually happens when I reach critical mass emotionally. I lay in bed at night, playing out the dialogues in my head. Anger, joy, frustration - whatever I feel in my own life becomes a conversation between fictious characters, and pretty soon, I need to see it in print. It's like excorcising my demons in a way. I can look at everything I've ever written, and tell you exactly what was happening in my personal life to motivate it. (But don't ask, because a girl has to have a few secrets!) I wouldn't call my writing autobiographical, but it is an outlet.

Is this why I don't feel comfortable pursuing it professionally? Because writing is actually just an extension of me, nothing more. I'm afraid that if you look too closely at what I write, you'll see it's not particularly special. It's not founded in some great literary education, and there's no lyrical genius behind these words. It is what it is, because I am what I am.

Which brings me to the question, just what do I think I am? And I'm not talking about my roles-- because my first instinct is to answer, "I'm a mom. And a wife. And a friend." I have to go a little farther than that. I want to know what's beneath that, what's under my skin?

Who am I when I'm in a room all by myself? Because that's where my writing takes me-- to a room all by myself. I'm not Mother or Wife or Friend when I'm there. I'm just The Author. And I guess I'm afraid that that isn't good enough sometimes, and I'm afraid to put it out there for judgement.

I dunno. I'll have to mull this one over a bit. But not now, because I am sleepy and everything is terribly dramatic when the body is tired. Time for bed, time for dialogues to bounce around in my head again, until sleep finally wins the night.

G'nite.
Sleep tight.
And so forth and so on.

Oh, J.D.

You know I've got nothing but love for ya, but this hurts me:

And now to cleanse my palatte, I must also post this one:

Aah, that's better. Except for that tie thingy, but whatever. You're Hollywood, I get it.

Mommie's having her Happy Juice.

Hic!

Sooo... who wants to redesign my blog for me?

And while we're at it, here is Eli's before and after "the buzz". (Notice that awesome green in the background? Yeah, that's my livingroom. Groovy, huh?)

Okay guys, I know everybody and their cousin has asked you to help them get a free ipod by signing up for all kinds of junk.

I'm not going to ask you to do that.

It's much simpler if you just buy me one and send it directly. (APOG accepts checks and money orders as well.)

Oh, I'm just kidding. I can't accept checks unless you have the proper i.d.

This may get me in a whole mess of trouble, but I'm feeling big mouthed today. (Blame it on the midmorning margaritas.)

You know something that bugs me? Hate crimes. No, not the commission of them, but the existence of a separate category altogether. I know this is highly politically incorrect, but I believe labeling certain crimes as "hate crimes" is unnecessary pandering to minority groups. A crime is a crime is a crime, no matter who is committing it or why! Murder is a hate crime, no matter what the circumstances. The "hate" in committing murder is the disregard of life itself. Making the penalty more severe when it affects minority groups sends a bad message. It says that some lives are more valuable than others in the eyes of the law. Tell that to the mother who is burying a daughter killed in a domestic conflict. I wonder if she thinks the man who murdered her child is less of a monster because he wasn't motivated by race, religion, or sexual preference? I doubt it. His actions deserve as much attention and reprimand as the law allows, motivation should be irrelevant. Just because you don't like someone's motivation for murder doesn't mean it should be treated differently. That puts a human judgement in the place of law, and that is dangerous territory.

Do I believe hate crimes should go unpunished? Of course not. But prosecute them based on the facts (someone was hurt or died), and leave the political agenda out of it. Teaching tolerance is not the law's job. I'm not saying it's a bad lesson to learn, we certainly all have to figure out a way to live and function in a world where everybody is different. But that is not the law's business.

Opinions?

As if Josiah doesn't have enough on his plate with all the terrablogs (free blogs based on the city you live in-- go get one today!!), he's also a part of this.

I'm convinced the man never sleeps.

I win!! I have to admit I was worried there for a moment. My two year old son has a fierce will, and he had decided he simply wasn't going to be obedient this morning. We fought a battle that should be sung by bards throughout the ages. I am going to have a tapestry made to commemorate the event, and hang it in the halls of my home as a trophy. (Can you tell I've been reading a book set in the Middle Ages lately?)

Anyway, sometimes parenting is a like a battle. The stakes were high this morning. If I didn't come out victorious, then Eli would be a little less of the person he is called to be. More than anything in this life, I want my children to be happy and good natured, and that is born in obedience to their parents, and ultimately, to God. It's my job to make sure he has the foundation he needs, so we waged war in the laying of it.

It's a tough job sometimes. It's no fun to be the bad guy. I'm not immune to my childs cries and discontent, and discipline isn't always easy to dispense. But now, I look over at him, and he's happy again! His bad attitude has been wiped away with the tears. Lines are reestablished, rules reinforced, and he knows the boundaries of his world again. It's strange- you'd think that giving your child the freedom to do whatever he wanted would make him happy, but it doesn't. "Bad kids"- and don't we all know a few-- have the least rules and are some of the unhappiest children. You can look at their faces and see it. And the parents, God bless them-- they're miserable, too. It makes me sad to see it.

I don't hold myself up in comparison though. When I start to lean towards pride, I am reminded in some painful and obvious manner that I am far from perfect. I'm mortally flawed, and I make mistakes. I ask myself all the time if I'm doing this right, if my kids are going to turn out okay. But, God knew me and all my weaknesses when He made me a mother. He has given my children grace to grow despite my imperfect parenting. They belong to Him, and He cultivates them in hidden ways, in unnoticed moments.

When Eli's hands finally submitted to my will this morning, it was his heart submitting to the Greater Will that is cause for my rejoicing. His small, watery voice saying, "I'm sorry" wasn't heard by my ears alone, and the victory tapestry hangs in halls other than mine. But I don't go unrewarded for my efforts-- small arms curl around my neck and peace is made. I hold him tightly, as long as he'll let me, which is never long enough anymore. Before he pulls away, I kiss his forehead and wipe his eyes and give him a little thump on the nose.

I'll see you again, little guy, I think to myself.

But next time, I'm wearing armor.

Seriously, cause I really need my sleep. Trust me.

Anyway, I just wanted to say, HOLY MOLY. This month, I've been blogging for TWO YEARS. Get out!! **doing Elaine shove**

Shouldn't I be getting a paycheck by now or something? No? Well, shoot. I'm going to bed then.

**Was this reference too obscure? Sigh. I really miss Seinfeld sometimes.**

Let's get a head count, shall we? I know there are a lot of "lurkers" out there who are normally too shy to comment, but this one's easy. All you have to do is leave a quick howdy. I promise I won't bite. Hard.

Ponies. They come by plane, train, and automobile to join the Trisler Coral, which is managed by our four year old equestrian expert, Wrenn. Sunny Daze, Rainbow Dash, Sweetberry, and Honeysuckle Delight are just a few of the popular residents of this growing stable. Here at Trisler Coral, our ponies get topnotch treatment. You'll notice that each pony is meticulously groomed. Bubble baths go without saying, as well as manes brushed and braided daily. But not only do they look good, they also feel good. We believe that a happy pony is a healthy pony, so exercise is important. Many of our residents find our sandbox to be very therapeutic, while others enjoy saddling up for a trot with our frequent visitors, some of which are celebrities like Dora the Explorer and Spongebob Squarepants! We also offer occasional field trips to places like Cinderella's castle and Grandma's house. And of course, picnics and playdates are permanent fixtures in our schedule.

For the shy pony, there is special one on one time with the trainer, including personalized nap times and afternoons spent coloring quietly. And each night, one lucky pony is chosen to snuggle in the big bed, as long as they don't kick in their sleep.

Spaces are unlimited, because, as Wrenn says happily, "You can never have too many ponies."

And since they never stop smiling, we think the ponies are probably pretty happy, too. (They also never blink, which can be a bit unnerving. It doesn't, however, indicate that they are unhappy. Just... watchful, maybe. But that's beside the point.)

Trisler Coral is a pony's dream come true. Be they pink or blue or green, all ponies are welcomed with open arms. (But to be honest, managament is forced to admit that the pink ones probably do get preferential treatment. Hey, we're not perfect.)

You know, a glass of wine sounds awfully good right now. I'm just saying.

Fifteen miles south of Natchez, right before the rain comes, you can find my favorite shades of green.

I watch as the grass shivers in the wind, and drinks the water right out of the air. The world glows emerald, sparkling with those few eager raindrops that have leapt early from the clouds. I am not alone in my observations, because even the cattle in the fields can sense the changes in the green around them. They munch greedily, one last taste before the rain rolls in...

Some of the animals have already wandered to shelter under the shadowed jade of the trees. Dark and mysterious, these greens call to me, too. I want to hide beneath them, quiet beneath their canopy. This is a moment in time when it is wise to wait. Let the rain come, let me sit here. Let me watch as the world becomes a rainbow of wet and green.

There's no where else to be, no other thing that needs to be done. I am here only to witness the birth of green from the blue of the sky.

It's so much more than a color, isn't it?

Isn't my mom gorgeous?

As an aside, I swear, I am GOING to blog tonight. This is driving me nuts! I only have the laptop every other day, and it's hard to find the time right now on the days I DO have it. But I miss it, so I need to figure out how to get on here more...

PS-- You can see exactly what Eli thinks of having to pose for this picture, can't you? Funny. Wrenn, however, never minds a photo op. Luke is just mad because he's wearing a dress. (baptismal gown actually, but he was convinced it was girly)

Sing it with me.

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate!)

There's a party goin' on right here
A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Why are we celebrating, you ask? Well, Shannon fit into her tightest pair of jeans today! And she shook her groove thang in happiness.

Okay, that's all. Carry on.

*Admit it, you sang it in your head, didn't you? No one can resist the powers of Kool and the Gang.

Lord, grant me the serenity I once knew nine months ago.

Give me a blind eye to the clutter that now fills my home.
Grace me with ears that hear what is actually being said, and not what I think they meant by it.
Lend my hands strength to change the thirteen thousandth diaper, fill the juice cups at lunchtime, and still hug my husband when he walks through the door.
Give me a mouth that smiles and says good things.
Bless me with eyes in the back of my head and an extra arm.
Expand my heart to fit my world.
Grant me a clear head, with thoughts that are healthy and productive.
Give me a body that leaps with the morning sun, and the ability to greet each day cheerfully.

And when You have seen to all the imperfections of my body and soul, then bless the people around me. Grant my friends the ability to understand my weaknesses, and help me to be a friend like that, too. Give my family patience and perserverence during this temporary insanity, and remind them it's worth the effort. Shower my husband with special grace to face the unexplained tears and mood swings, and assure him that the woman he married is still in there somewhere. Fill my children with knowledge of their mother's unending love, and help them know that fun will be had again.

And if You have time after all that, I'd love to be able to get my hair done.

Amen.

****

You know it's been a busy day when you have to decide whether to bathe or to blog in your spare time.

Sorry, folks. It was a tough decision, but cleanliness wins today.

Tomorrow, I shall blog dirtily. (Oh, won't the search engines have fun with that one!)