Gets the grease, right? My mom complained today that there is no way to look at all the pictures of the kids and/or family on this blog at once. So, I meticulously went through all my old entries and added a new "Picture This" category. Now you can click that (under "Categories") and voila. Easy squeezy.

This should guarantee my nomination as "Daughter of the Year". And there better be a tiara in there somewhere. I deserve the very best fake diamonds that money can buy! And it better be BIG.

And no, I didn't stamp my foot. That's not a very grown-up thing to do.

Anyway, at the very least, this is further proof that I do, indeed, rock. Or that I'll do anything to get out of folding laundry.

I didn't know that I wanted a baby donkey, but I do. Oh, I really do!

Please.

Can I make a joke about the whole cute a** thing? No?

Okay then. You're the boss.

It's 12:25 p.m. and I still haven't turned on my air conditioner today. Hallelujah! Fall might FINALLY be here!

Lazy day, so let's do a Friday Five, for old time's sake!

1. What kind of computer do you have? (Mac, iBook, Dell, etc.) Toshiba Satellite laptop.

2. How old is it? Are you happy with it? One year old- and we're still crushing on it!

3. How many computers are in your household? (at home if you are away at school) Just the one.

4. What are your favorite games/timewasters on your computer? Spider solitaire is my favorite absolute time waster. Difficult level - I only win it every couple of months. My favorite game would be Sims2, if I'd go ahead and load the thing!

5. If money were no object, what kind of computer would you like to have? Like the Macs, so probably a top of the line desktop of their's.

For those of you standing by for news of the cars - let's just say, I've got a knot on my head. From pounding it against the wall. Still no definitive answer on the Family Car. Two mechanics say the same thing- there's nothing wrong that they can tell. The only hope for it is if it acts up while they have it hooked to a machine or while they are driving it. Sigh. So, what are we supposed to do? I can't drive it with the kids, obviously. I can't drive the carpool, either. Lovely.

And the Red Car? They STILL haven't gotten to it! The guy said he tried to crank it just to move it, and it sounded like the timing belt? We know for a fact the radiator is busted, so who the heck knows how much is wrong with it or how much it will cost, or WHEN it will be fixed (if it can be!). I've got that gut feeling that the Red Car has seen it's last days.

So.

My only solution is to invest in some lotto tickets or but a bicycle built for 5 (!).

Last September, I shared my ING. Let's do it again!

ING for Today:

Reading: The Runes of the Earth, Stephen R. Donaldson.
Drinking: Diet Dr. Pepper.
Listening: Mix CD by PlayDo Brittany.
Feeling: Perky!
Watching: Survivor!
Snacking: Apples - but I really want some Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate. Dangit.
Humming: The Nokia Ringtone. Help.
Wearing: Workout clothes - see my dedication?
Cooking: Broiled tilapia!
Posing: As a stay at home mom, but I'm actually undercover CIA.
Paying: For car repairs. Urgh.
Dreaming: Of graduation - 7.5 months!
Smelling: Soap and coffee. Yum.
Loving: My bald headed baby.
Anticipating: Trip to Baltimore, and Margarita Night with the girls!! Yip!

There are moments in my life when I stand in the center of all the good things - alone in the field of my happiness, and I want to hold out my arms and spin until I'm dizzy. The blessings of my life surround me like wildflowers, and they become a bright blur as I turn faster and faster. Nothing touches me there, no troubles or dark thoughts dare to intrude.

My day improved with a Diet Dr. Pepper (which really DOES taste like the regular ones) and realizing that it's Wednesday and Lost night!!

Still waiting to hear from the mechanics working on BOTH cars, no luck so far. The influx of evacuees from south LA has really impacted businesses down here. Everybody is busier! I even called around checking on rental cars and could barely find any. I had to walk (!) to two different stores just to get the drink I wanted. It's like this all the time now, but we're getting used to. I suppose the economic boom isn't bad for BR, but I hate that it's the result of such a tragedy.

So... I went to the ASLA website yesterday, looking at potential jobs for Patrick. Well, it's a little premature - he still has eight months until he will be on the market, but I wanted to get an idea of what's out there. Looks pretty awesome! Lots of openings in CA and FLA, and quite a few in Atlanta and on the eastern coast... basically from one end of the country to the other! It's so hard to decide where we want to live! I don't know if we should decide on a city, then try to find a job there, or the opposite.

Whatever we do though- we need to start thinking about it. I'm the detail oriented one, and not knowing is killing me! By now, I usually have a few boxes packed and a moving truck reserved. This will be a test of faith for me, I do believe.

Well, I don't have much to say today. I'm going to plop on the couch for a while and read my book.

Aaahh... the life of a stay at home mom.

That is so a joke.

Why do I feel like I drank a bottle of tequila last night? I didn't - I swear. My head is POUNDING.

Am I getting sick?

That doesn't explain the nose ring I woke up with, though.

This has got to stop.

Okay, so I've mentioned our upcoming trip to Baltimore in November. It's just five weeks away, and I'm so excited I could pass out - except for one matter. Luke.

He'll be a week shy of 6 months at that time, and I'm not sure if I am ready to leave him for five days. I never left Wrenn and Eli for that long - not until they were at least a year old.

One the one hand, this trip would be a lot easier without him. On the other hand, what if he isn't ready for that kind of seperation? The last thing I want is for him to be a thousand miles away and needing Mama! And then there are the Babysitters to consider. I trust my mom and mother-in-law implicitly, but these three can be a serious handful! Especially if you are on your own with them. Patrick and I have to tagteam to get through the day - I can't imagine that our mothers would still be sane after dealing with them all alone. I don't want to put them in a bad situation, or take advantage of them.

But the thought of lugging all the baby gear around an airport - trying to find a place for naps- and sightseeing with him in tow.... well - that's daunting.

I would love- truly LOVE- to spend some time alone with my husband, but maybe that's a luxury I can't afford just yet. Is it selfish of me to want that? Is it wrong to choose something that I want more than my child would probably want?

Thoughts, people. Give me something to chew on here.

*yawn*

Good morning, everybody.

What're we doing today?

*blatantly stolen from G

Life just didn't seem complete without a duck.

And don't ask why he's green. He's a little touchy about that.

Wow. Today was abysmally bad, even for a Monday. May I? We started off sleeping through the alarm, and waking with 15 minutes to get out the door. Have you ever tried to rush a sleepy 5 year old? It's no picnic. But we manage to leave on time, and pick up the two girls that carpool with us in the morning. About ten minutes from the school, the car starts to overheat. Yay. Remember now, the Family Car is already in the shop. This is not good. I manage to limp the Red Car (Patrick's car) to the school, stopping once to put some water in it.

We get there (riding my frantic prayers all the way), and lo and behold, I've forgotten Wrenn's bookbag, and lunch. Super Yay. While my car cools down at the school, I borrow the TEACHER's car (sigh) and dash madly to the grocery store to get Wrenn a lunchable. But the store is completely empty. I'm serious. No meat. No cheese. No bread. Barely anything at all - I guess they haven't had a chance to restock since the hurricane this weekend. I put together an admittedly bad lunch, but it was the best I could do. So I get that to her, and feeling sufficiently confident that the car was cool (having refilled the water also), I head off to Debby's to drop something off. Her house is on the way home - but as I drive, it's getting hot AGAIN. So I stay there, cry, fill it up again, and try once more to get home.

Nope. That wasn't in the cards today. I got close, but no cigar. It dudded out on me about a block from the car repair shop where the Family Car was already waiting patiently for some TLC.

I sat there, crying a little more, wracking my brain for a plan. (Notice the crying? What is up with that? I HATE crying!!) Anyway, Red Car, at this point, was dead. D-E-A-D. The battery had gone out - why, I don't know. I was honestly just surprised it hadn't blown up at this point. I thought I might could push it to the shop, but even my herculean muscles weren't up to the task. So I walked to the shop, called Patrick, and waited for the mechanic to fix the Family Car so that I could drive home, get Patrick, and bring him back to view the Red Car in it's death throes.

Several hours later, Family Car is ready to go because the mechanic COULDN'T FIND ANYTHING AMISS. He's wrong, of course. Something's up with it, and I guarantee that just when I have a car full of kids, it will rear it's ugly head again. But, desperation drives us and faith sustains us, so I guess it will be alright. At least until Red Car has been repaired, or declared DOA.

We end up pushing the Red Car to the shop with the Family Car. It's a bit like the blind leading the blind. We take the lesser broken of the two back home - and make plans to be a one car family for a few days at least. (We're just crossing our fingers that we won't be a NO car family.)

Finally, I got back home - dirty and hungry and cranky beyond belief. So I did what any self respecting woman would do. I grabbed my book, put on my fat pants, and ate everything in the pantry. Luckily, the damage was minimal, because I keep my pantry void of chocolate for this very reason.

Then I took a shower and a little nap, and now I'm much better.

And that was my Monday, in all it's glory. From now on, I think it would be simpler to WALK.

Sunday and the boys and I are not going to church. Why, you ask? Well, when I went to pick up Wrenn from school on Thursday, the family car went kaput on me. On the interstate. The kind with the concrete walls and NOWHERE to pull over. After a healthy little panic attack, a nice guy in a truck pushed me to an off ramp, and I walked from there. Pushing Luke's stroller - in 98 degree heat.

Ack.

I sat at Joe's Crab Shack and had a coke and generally felt sorry for myself. Debby picked up Wrenn for me, and Patrick made his way to me and our untrusty steed. The old girl is currently sitting at the repair shop as the mechanic tries to figure out how to rob us blind get her up and running again.

So being a two car family on Sundays, the boys and I are sitting this one out. I'll be honest, church with a 5 year old, 2 year old, and 4 month old sans nursery can be challenging. Our service is over an hour and a half, and sometimes it's difficult to hear even a modicum of the sermon!

But I need it. It's the prelude to my week. It gives me what I need to be the mother and wife I'm called to be for the next six days. Singing with my family, sharing the Lord's Supper, bowing our heads together- those are the things that refuel me, prepare me, balance me. Without them, I am off kilter. I am a beat behind.

It's a good thing that you don't have to be in church for God to hear prayers, though.

The car - all I want is for it to be reliable. I don't mind if it's not new or could stand a paint job or even if it makes crazy noises. I just want it to not break down on me.

Okay, so that's it. Time to get out of my pajamas and get life in gear.

In preparation for yesterday's hurricane, we gathered up our candles, flashlights, and lanterns. Patrick's favorite one, of course, was the headlight. He let Eli play around with it a little bit, and he was in heaven. Unfortunately, heaven for little brothers usually involves a little bit of hell for older sisters. He was doing his usual amount of pestering and general aggrivation, pointing the light directly into Wrenn's face. Finally Wrenn had enough and appealed to us.

"Mo-om!" she whined, "I don't want Eli to glow in my dark!!" Which immedietely brought giggles from Mom and Dad, a satisfied smirk on little brother, and confusion from big sister.

Gotta love that unscripted humor.

Oh, and the hurricane - mostly just made a big mess for us to clean up. Leaves, limbs, debris. Electricity flickered some during the worst of it, but it was nothing compared to Katrina.

And some more---

Here, take it! Take it all!

I am back from my dash to the grocery store for a few essentials before Rita sashays onto the coast. Okay, so maybe she's not that light footed. And maybe I didn't buy just a "few" things.

The grocery store is a happening place before a hurricane, I tell ya. Nothing hypes me up like joining the throngs of folks furiously buying peanut butter and Chicken Corn Chowder. The excitement is palpable, and I am one of the first to be swept up in the mania. I start eyeballing other people's carts, to see what they are buying. If they buy it, well, that settles it. I am, too. Cause I need it. Storm's coming. I have to fight the urge to sweep everything off the shelf into my waiting (and already full) buggy.

So I bring back stuff I haven't eaten in fourteen years. Fig newtons? What the? We don't eat those! And what on earth am I going to do with pickled garbanzo beans? The Cheese Whiz was a big hit with Patrick, but it didn't go over so well in my conservative pantry. The "regulars" don't take to well to outsiders, and their foreign spraying habits. It started out with whispers and glares, but it's escalated. I swear I heard some trash talking and rumbling around in there. I'm just staying out of the way. What happens in the pantry, stays in the pantry.

And the toilet paper, oh help me. It's ridiculous. There will be no purchase of Northen Quilt in our home until well after the New Year. And that's if we are outrageously wasteful. I'm racking my brain for other uses, and so far I've come up with a few awesome Christmas presents. (Look forward to it, friends. I'm talking some seriously top notch gifts here.)

I mustn't forget the water. Aah, the WATER. Well, everybody else had so much... It would have been irresponsible NOT to buy enough to drink, and cook, and bathe us (and the cat). And gargle. I mean, you have to do that everyday. And mop? Well, the floor can get awfully dirty with all that mud. And we might need some entertainment, so we'll probably do some water balloons or something. Oh, and heck, let's fill the pool up, too - cause I BOUGHT EIGHTY THOUSAND GALLONS.

And for crying out loud, why did I need three tubes of hydrocortisone cream and a shower cap? That's just weird.

Two days from now, when I am surrounded with all these unused items, I shall feel quite silly indeed.

But better safe than sorry, right? Yeah, that's exactly what got me in this mess.

Well, I will end here. I'll try to write tomorrow, as long as we have power. Now, I have to finish putting away the last bit of things. Let's see, that's twelve bags of ginger snaps, some tweezers, and the economy sized box of dryer sheets.

It seemed reasonable at the time, trust me.

I've just recently come into the cellular world - remember the bird incident? Anyway, I had a Tracfone for a long time, and spent what I would for a small island in those dumb prepaid cards. So Super Mom comes to the rescue, and puts me on her Cingular family plan. Now I get a humungous amount of anytime minutes that had built up on her plan because nobody was using them. I'm kinda stingy with those, though. Yes. I have hoarding issues, but I'm seeking professional help even as we speak.

Anyway.

The thing I love about it is that I can call anybody with a Cingular phone for free, anytime. Yeah - I know you already know that, but this is new for me. Indulge me.

So, I'm calling up ANYBODY I know with a Cingular phone. My best friend from fourth grade, the mailman, our old auto insurance people - I'm out of control. But it's free.

It is cool though that my sister and mom, and aunt all have Cingular. I'm calling like two, three times a day.

I don't have a lot to do around here.

That's a lie, I have plenty to do, but none of it is as fun as playing with my new toy. I haven't talked this much on the phone since the ninth grade!

If you have a cingular phone, hit me with your digits and I shall also bug YOU two or three times a day with nothing in particular to say.

Ain't it great to be my friend?

PS- My phone welcomes me with "Hello, Beautiful!" which totally cracks me up.
Okay, I programmed that myself. What can I say? I like compliments.

The new IPod Nano. Yummy.

A few pictures taken this afternoon, while hiding out from the massive pile of laundry in the living room.

Scary.

Once upon a time, I wrote this. Now, I've cleaned it up a bit since that rough draft, and get this - actually submitted it to a magazine. Yikes. That's my first little tiptoe into the publishing world, so we'll see how it goes. I won't hear from them for a few months, though, so I'm not looking for results any time soon.

Whatcha think?

I dropped my bag onto the sand, and gazed out at the sinking sun. My chair sat within reach of the lapping waves, and with a sigh of relief, I settled in comfortably. My toes wriggled down in the soggy sand of their own volition, as waves flirted softly with my feet. My hands stretched over stomach, now rounded with pregnancy.

Gulls cried high above, soaring in graceful arcs. Sun-kissed children combed the shore for one last shell, as parents began to gather their now salty belongings. Crabs scuttled playfully in the fading light, and a school of tiny fish hid in the faint shadow of my chair. I watched lazily as forgotten sandcastles were slowly swept away by the relentless tide. As the waters claimed each crumbling turret, my troubles followed. My worries and fears drifted far into the sea, far from me.

Clouds abandoned their fluffy whiteness, and gleefully donned pinks and oranges and yellows. The parade of colors stretched over the ocean, filling the breadth of the sky. Sunset waited, fashionably late, until we all held our breath for her entrance.

As I sat beneath the canopy of day’s end, I took a picture in my mind. I memorized each detail, each taste and texture and smell. It's all still there, though the memory is but a shadow of the brilliance.

I left the beach knowing I'd never be able to recreate the moment, not entirely. Life was around me, and inside me, for the very first time. In that instant, I was joined with the elements and creatures in their endless cycles. It changed me. The peace and beauty imprinted on my soul. I carry that with me always, a souvenir, hidden deep within.

And now, when I look at my child, with her bright smile and golden curls, I know that I am not the only one who carries the mark of our perfect day. For she shines like the sun, and she smells like the breeze. She soars like a bird, and she has colors in her soul that rival the setting sun.

That day, so perfect and beautiful, passed swiftly into a memory. But my daughter? Her light stretches into a lifetime.

So. This time last year - what was I writing?

Oh, I remember. Sweet, sweet Willie. He rocks hard.

In the seventies, Stephen R. Donaldson wrote a pretty good series of fantasy books called The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. I read them a few years ago, and assumed that the story had been finished. Not so. Two more books have come out, and I started them yesterday. The plot is original and interesting, and the books are considered one of the cornerstones of the current fantasy genre.

But.

I just can't get over the name of the bad guy. It's so awful, I can barely even utter it aloud.

Lord Foul.

Oh, that's hideous. Mr. Donaldson! Shame on you! Couldn't you up with anything less... I don't know - OBVIOUS?

This is why I hide my fantasy books when company comes over.

And don't bother looking under my bed, because that's not where I stash them. Seriously. Don't look.

Trust me.

Nothing to see there, folks. Just move along.

Don't even attempt to call me between 8 and 9 pm tonight. My ringer will be off, friends, because Lost is on!!

Oh the happiness!!

I'm thirty years old, and I just booked my first airline ticket.

It was so fun.

We're going to Baltimore the first weekend of November for a wedding. Patrick's childhood buddy and longtime friend, Dan, is getting married. So, we're flying up a few days early so we can do some sightseeing. We're ditching the kids and taking our first vacation in eight years! Whoohoo! And don't go feeling sorry for the Short Ones. Grandma will be coming in and they'll have their own little vacaction. Although, I admit the idea of leaving Mr. Luke puts a damper on my spirit. He'll be six months old, but he's my little partner. I'll miss him.

Anyway, despite that downer, it's great. I am way too excited about this. I feel like such a nerd. I can't quit thinking about it! I keep wanting to call all my friends and giggle about it.

Yes. I'm fourteen. Sue me.

I have to admit I'm a little nervous, though. Not about the actual flying- that doesn't bother me so much. But the layovers and luggage and all that- that gives me a twinge of anxiety. Inexperience makes me unsure of myself. Plus all the new post 9/11 changes... Can I bring tweezers? Razors? Am I allowed to wear stilletos? Not that I want to. I'm just saying. What's considered a weapon these days?

But still, I can't wait. I keep pulling up my email confirmation and reading it, because this is just something we don't do. Trislers don't fly. Not because they're afraid, but because, well, we just don't. It's a rule.

And since we're breaking it for the first time, like ever - it's a big occasion.

So. Any ideas on things we really should see while in Baltimore and DC?

Nothing brings on the urge to vomit quite like Taradise.

And I love that I am giving my things to someone who really wants or needs it. It's much more personal and satisfying than dropping stuff off anonymously at a thrift store (where someone still has to pay $ they may not really have.) Plus, I've seen a few things that were being offered that I would have jumped on if I had a truck to go get them. (like bunk beds) You just can't beat free.

Anyway, you should check your city on this site and see if there is a chapter to join. You won't regret it!

I sooooo want to eat at Hello Sushi, here in BR.

I expect the place to be filled with little kawaii lovies like this:

The perfect combo of raw fish and insanely cute animals. What more do ya need?

Oh. Maybe this, too.

He's kinda hot, though.

(BTW - Isn't Chococat too adorable? I just want to love
him and hug him and pet him and squeeze him, and call him George.)

You've gotta be kidding me.

We may be okay, it's hard to say at this point. But I've got my eye on Rita. I don't trust her.

"Tears are a river that takes you somewhere…Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better."

I'm sure you've noticed the ongoing dialogue started in my post Crossing Lines.

Let me explain something here, in case there is some question about if I should be writing those things or not.

It sucks. It just does.

My blog is my diary. It didn't start out that way - it began as a fun place to link and post the quirky thoughts that often cross my mind. It was light and easy and entertaining.

Now, maybe not so much. I get serious here, and I realize I've probably lost readers along the way who don't want to get into that heavy emotional stuff. But that's okay. My blog has evolved into exactly that, my blog. It works for me. It is exactly what I need, when I need it. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me cry, sometimes it feeds my creative monster, and sometimes it doesn't. I've come to love it for what it is.

But it does, occasionally, get me in trouble. If you've been here long enough, you'll remember some of my more spirited controversies, all carefully preserved in the archives. Remember when Shannon experimented with some colorfol language- and barely lived to tell the tale? Aah, good times.

Anyway.

I knew I took a big chance writing this very personal experience with drug addiction in our family. But I felt that we needed some kind of forum to deal with it. So yeah - I took the reins in my own hands and put it out there.

It's ugly.
It's painful.
It's embarassing.

But it's also therapeutic, and liberating. It's okay to say it. We're off, we're dysfunctional, we've got serious issues. But are we so different from everyone else in the world? No. We're just louder. And maybe that will help other people be braver, too. Maybe it will give someone else the courage to face their own Bad Stuff, and start to rebuild and repair what's broken in their own life.

To my family - sheesh. I'm sorry. I know it's hard. I know you don't want our business splashed across the internet. But you need to remember, that these are my friends here. These are the people who love me, and pray for me. And when I write about this here- they love you, and pray for you, too. Nobody is judging you or gossipping or laughing. They are hurting for you, interceding for you...

To my mom and dad, I know this is especially difficult for you. You both try so hard to protect everyone else from just how bad it really gets. I respect that. You want the circle of fire to be small, so less people are affected. We weren't raised to air our dirty laundry, and the fact that you haven't thrown my laptop in the lake is a testament to your love for me. Thank you for letting me do this my own way. Even if it is, sometimes, the wrong way.

We will get through this. We will be okay. I believe that. So many good things have happened, even in the height of the storm. Relationships have bloomed, love has deepened, and we have found the ties that bind us are unbreakable. We have been forged in fire, born to strengths we never knew. I am proud to be part of this family, proud to see the changes and maturity and growth of the last year. I am glad to know that I can pick up the phone and be showered with love and encouragement in a matter of seconds. There is never a shortage of love to go around - and that is what will see us through this valley.

I'm done now, I think. I'm tired. I need a break from the emotional weight for a little while, so I'm off to play with the paperdolls again.

You should try it. I am totally in the running to be Jennifer Anniston's new stylist.

Here are a few pictures from Friday night, when we threw down for Wrenn's fifth birthday party. We partied at Monkey Biz (party heaven for five year olds, trust me) for an hour and a half with ten friends and their moms and dads. It was so much fun, I didn't even have time to be sad that my baby is such a big girl now. Well, maybe I had a few moments... in between all the crazy. A few shots of whiskey kept the tears at bay, though. Nobody even noticed Mommie's flask, don't worry. I'm very good.

Anyway.

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You have been our sunshine since the day you were born, and I am so proud to be your mom.

Round and round they go.
The best part. (Hey, notice my new auburn do. Likey?)
Taking a break.
Debby and her little guy.
Too busy for a picture, Mom.
5 years as Dad. (and still a hottie)

My body is tired, and begging to go to bed, buy my brain is being stubborn. Sigh. Dumb brain.

We've had a really busy weekend. My sister, Play-do Brittany, came into town Wednesday. My mom came Friday. Wrenn's 5th birthday party was Friday night - which was an absolute blast. We had another birthday party to go to Saturday morning for one of her friends. When we got back, around noonish, all us girls went shopping till supper time. Came home and ate, got the kids all cleaned up and in bed, then hit a late movie at the theatre.

Holy Moly.

I'm beat! But we had such a good time!

Pictures to follow. But now, bed time.

His fist trembled inches from her face, and she held her breath, waiting. Eyes that should hold love, were filled with hatred instead. Go ahead, she thought. Just do it. And tomorrow when I walk around with a black eye, everybody will see it. And everybody will know what you really are.

Okay... so I've been slacking. I admit it. You know it, and I know it. Should I just call it a day, and bid the blog adieu? I'm just sorta... bored, I guess. I don't feel very entertaining anymore. I'm short on funny these days, and I miss it! I miss writing things that cracked me up. I miss having too many things to blog about! I'm not sure what to do about it, honestly. How to put some life back in the old girl? (And by that I mean, APOG, not me, thank you very much.)

Feedback, please. Help a sister out.

Wrenn informed us tonight that she wants to be called "Petunia". Not to be outdone, Eli has decided that from this day forth, he shall be known as "Tuna."

Nice.

Shannon's trippy moment for the day: The multicolored hotwax at the carwash. Am I the only one who gets all Woodstock as the colors drip down my window?

Oh Yay. 5:30 is the new 6:30 around here.

Wah.

Drug addiction doesn't explain everything. Sometimes you have to look deeper, even if it means going places you really don't want to.

Groovy. See this little trick, picked up from David at BLTB? I now call it mine. Mwahahaha.

To our dear friends north of the Mason Dixon line, it's "Buh-luck-see", not "Bee-locksey".

Just so ya know.

I read this a few days ago, and wanted to post it here. This is why I love La.

Dear America,

That is our promise. That is our faith.

Oh Fi. What have you done to me?

Me and about fifteen billion girls aged 8-14 spent all night here. Well, Fi was there, too. We were... uh... just "chaperoning", you see. All very respectable. We're not actually participating. We're just there to make sure everything is running smoothly and the girls don't fight over the clothes or anything.

Now go away.

So, I'm thirty. An amarreto sour seemed appropriate.

And here's a shot of us on the town. Looks wild, doesn't it? Okay, so I used the "party" feature on my camera to spice it up a little. Sue me.

We went out to eat, and to Barnes & Nobles before the movie. I love that our nightlife includes a humongous book store! Ha! Times, they have a-changed.

Anyway- we had fun! It was the first time in ages that we've been out without any little tagalongs. We saw Skeleton Key, which was a good movie but would have been better if we weren't surrounded by ten thousand hoolagins. Honestly. They nearly ruined it running in and out of the theatre, talking on cell phones, and making out right next to me! Seriously- the two next to me were in a hot and heavy lip lock the entire two hours of the movie. I was impressed, actually. That kind of kissin' takes real commitment, and extrordinary lung capacity.

So thirty feels pretty dang awesome. I've spent a lot of time this last week reflecting on the first thirty years of my life. And my conclusion? Life rocks. I have three amazing kids, a devoted and loving husband, my health, my creative juices, good friends, a special family, a solid church, walls painted my favorite colors, hopes and dreams for the future, and way too many blessings to count.

You know, the twenties were good. I'm not knocking 'em. But thirty feels incredible. I finally get it. I am comfortable being me, I'm happy with all the parts of Shannon. I know who I am, and what I want, and what's important. It's so awesome.

I'm glad this birthday wasn't hard. I am glad that it wasn't about a new wrinkle, or a gray hair, or a saggy rear. It was just a pause on the journey - standing on a cliff ledge of life. I look down at the path I've trod, and up at the miles that still stretch before me, and I'm happy. I've come a long way. And there's plenty more to go. More heights to reach, more views to be had.

This life, it's a good thing.

Confession: I can't not watch Dharma & Greg. Yeah, I know. It disturbs me, too.

Obsession: Bloglines. My good friend, Wil Wheaton turned me on to it, and my life has changed forever. Okay, so maybe he's not exactly a good friend, but we could be if he'd just return my calls and emails and letters and faxes. Come on, Wil! I could be your very best friend if you'd just give me the chance! [/stalker] Anyway. I am this close to removing my blogroll altogether, but I have a feeling people are using it to browse, so I better not. But bloglines is awesome! I know when all my favorite blogs have been updated, AND I can view them all on the same page. Groovy.

Anticipation: Tonight. Babysitter is a'coming, and celebration is pending. On the eve of my 30th birthday, Patrick has a surprise. Oooh. A surprise!! Do you know how much Shannon loves surprises? Oh she does indeed. Yippee!

Discoveration (?!): Remember Black People Love Us? If you haven't read it, follow the link and pay attention. It's not a racist thing, it's actually the complete opposite, but some people don't get that. Oh well. Anyway, it's hilarious. And I found out who made the website! He is one of the founders of Contagious Media, which is a really cool idea. He also happens to be the husband of a longtime read of mine, Andrea. I don't know Andrea, and we disagree on practically everything, but she is funny and posts great pictures of NY and animals. So, she's on my mental blogroll.

Okay, that's all for this Saturday. Now I must commence the traditional Frantic Cleaning So the Babysitter Doesn't Think Badly of Me. To be followed closely by the Oh My Gosh Is There Anything For Her To Drink and Eat in the Fridge Panic.

Fun.

Big Eyes

Gufus Maximus

Before Katrina, we were in Atlanta for my aunt's wedding. And naturally, I had camera in hand.

The stunning bride.
Glam Ashley and Eric.
Flowergirl and Ringbearer at your service.
Grandma and a sweet package.
The girls.
Always daddy's girl.
Piggie noises with Nanny Mae.
A dance to begin it all.
A flipflop reception.
A matched set.

I have more, but I'm tired and going to bed.

zzz.

I wanted to write a follow up on my post-fasting condition. Last night, after I ended the fast, I felt FANTASTIC. Like all my cells have an extra boost of oxygen or something. Sweet!

Today was not bad. I spent less time in traffic, and that's a good thing. The mayor addressed the city today and promised that help is on the way. They are going to rework the stoplights, and probably add extra lanes in some of the heaviest areas. That's encouraging. Our traffic is comparable to downtown Atlanta right now, and I kid you not.

I wish I had more to write about at the moment, but I'm just chilling right now. Sometimes you have to ride the current, ya know? I'll write more when the mood hits.

PS: 30th Birthday - 4 days and counting. Hello 30!

Baton Rouge traffic has just gotten totally out of control. You know how I feel about the hurricane victims- the same as you. We all feel terrible for them and we're doing everything we can to help them. This is not a bash on these folks. But our traffic has gotten really, really bad. I spent an extra TWO HOURS in traffic today. With three kids in the car. With the price of gas and an already very busy schedule, this alarms me! We didn't move to a huge city because we wanted to avoid this type of life, and now there is nothing I can do about it. The town of Baton Rouge has changed in the last ten days, some good ways, some bad, but definitely it's not ever going to be the same again. We suddenly have twice the number of people in the city, and only half the needed roads, stores, police force, EVERYTHING. It's going to take a long time to comfortably accomodate all the people who stay permanently in BR.

Please, don't yell at me. I am not being ungrateful, I realize that this is inconsequential compared to the Big Picture. But this affects me, too, and I am frustrated. I suppose it's something that I have to adjust to, that we all have to adjust to. Sometimes I wonder if life will ever be normal around here again. I have avoided the news just to have a break from the tragedy of it all, but that is difficult because it's everywhere you look. I am reminded at every turn that Louisiana has suffered a crippling blow. It's depressing.

Well, that's it. Enough whining. I needed to vent, and now I have, and I feel better. Patrick is fixing up his bike to ride to school, and we are walking to the stores nearest us when we need to. Trips into town have been severely cut back, and I guess we'll wander out only when it's absolutely necessary. We all have to make changes.

Hopefully, some of them will be for the better.

Today wasn't bad. Still had the tightness in my shoulders, and a few hunger moments, but overall, good.

My goal was 3 days. This is the first time I've fasted, so I didn't want to go overboard with it. So tonight, I broke the fast with some soup. I probably should have just eaten some fruit, because the soup was really too heavy. I felt queasy and broke out in a cold sweat. Ew. But, after an hour or so, I feel much better and back to normal.

I am really glad I did it. I mean - YAY! I'm proud! If you guys know me personally, you know I likes to eat. I'm not overweight, but I enjoy food. This was a real test in self discipline for me, and the feeling of accomplishment is pretty awesome. I feel cleaner and lighter and appreciate food a lot more now! I hope that the benefits will last a long time - until the next time I do it. I think I will try to do this every six months, maybe for 5 days next time. I'd eventually like to work up to 7 days and keep that habit for the rest of my life.

So that's it! For those of you interested, I lost a total of 4.5 pounds, though that wasn't my goal. I imagine that I will gain at least 2 of those back, which is just fine. I have heard the average loss is around 8 pounds for the first seven days, and if you go longer, it's supposed to level out to about a half a pound a day.

Anyway, hope that was helpful!! It was a neat experience for me, and fun to record here. If anybody decides to do it, I'd love to hear how it goes for you.

And now, I am in search of a snack.

Yum.

Morning of Day 3- whoohoo! I feel like I am getting over the "hump". I got a good night's sleep, and woke up fairly refreshed. My headache is pretty much gone, the only remnant left is some tightness in my shoulders. I think a soak in the tub will help with that.

The hunger seems much more manageble today, too. You would think that with each meal missed, the hunger would be compounded until you're just starving. But it's not like that. For most of the day yesterday, I had the kind of hunger you get before a meal - I think my mouth actually watered a few times. But the more I distanced myself mentally from food, the easier it got physically. I passed up breakfast this morning without a second thought! I an honestly say, I'm not really hungry. I am constantly drinking water. I am also consuming at least 32 oz of either organic blueberry and grape juices, water with lemon and sometimes honey, or homemade juices from plums, grapes, and peaches. I haven't gotten bored with the selection so far.

I've noticed my sense of smell is heightened. When I went for a walk yesterday, I was blown away by all the stuff I was smelling! The flowers were so sweet, the garbage cans so nasty! Since I was walking at dinnertime, I could tell what was cooking all over the neighborhood- tacos, burgers, and something Italian, it was crazy. And a bit torturous too, but oh well!

Also, I smell different. It must be the chemicals coming out of my skin, because I just don't smell like me. I tried to work up a sweat on my half walk/jog to flush some of it out. I am glad to be getting rid of stuff, but it's weird to smell so foreign. Needless to say, I'm hitting the showers a couple times a day, because I'd much rather smell like soap.

I think my sight is improved, too. I notice the finer details at greater distances- but I don't know if that's because I'm concentrating on it or not. I'll give that more time before deciding.

Mentally, feeling much better than yesterday. I have more energy and motivation, and my mind is moving faster and clearer. I'm excited about today, because I think this will be my breakthrough. This is when I will start seeing the results I want.

Okay, that's all for now! Time to get some stuff done.

Urgh.

I am experiencing some fierce hunger pains at the moment, but I think it's because I know mentally that it's dinnertime. I feel a bit worn down, but when Patrick gets home from work, I'm going for a walk. I think that will help. I decided to forgo my usual 5k run while I'm fasting, because I think that would be pushing it physically.

I still have that mild, lingering headache. I catch myself occasionally clenching up my shoulders, and I have to consciously relax them. It's bearable, I'm not complaining. But I admit, I am a bit cranky. Poor family.

Speaking of the family, spaghetti is cooking for those of us still eating. The smell is driving me nuts! I gotta get out of here!

I haven't decided how long I want to do this. My goal was at least 3 full days. I think I will see how I feel tomorrow night- hopefully the hunger will have subsided by then. If I am up to it, I will go until Thursday night, or possibly Friday morning. I'd like to be off the fast by this weekend though, because it's my birthday, and Shannon wants cake!!

Mm... cake.

Anyway, focus. Another thing I noticed is that my teeth are sensitive. I can't imagine why, but they feel sort of tingly. I know for sure that I am detoxing because my mouth feels gross. I've heard that people who used to smoke have actually tasted nicotine on their tongues when fasting. Crazy.

Okay, that's all for now- will write more later.

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm fasting. Read here.)

Yesterday went pretty well, overall. I had a mild headache all day, but it was bearable. Until 3 am this morning. I woke up with a blinding, excruciating, slap-your-mama kind of headache. I thought, maybe I need a hit of juice, so I drank about 4 oz. Big mistake. My headache, which seriously may have been of migraine status, was making me nauseous. That juice didn't stay put. Ew. I tossed and turned for another hour before finally falling into blessed sleep. I woke up feeling like about three dollars. Headache was still there, and quickly getting just as bad as it was in those wee hours of the morning. I got Patrick to work on my shoulders a little, and parked the kids in front of the tv and got back in bed.

Now I'm awake and feel much better! Whatever toxins my body was working so hard to expel are now gone, or at least the headache is. I'm not hungry at all, and I'll try some juice again in a little while. I feel a tad shaky, but I think after I drink some more juice, that will go away. Oh, one other thing I've noticed, a bad taste in my mouth. I am brushing my teeth about every two hours to get rid of it, and I'm trying my darndest not to breath on anybody right now. Gross.

So that's it for now! Will post more later.

Woke up this morning with a bit of a headache, but it's only because I went to sleep with one. My shoulders are a little tight right now, but I'll put Patrick to work on that later. :)

I made my own juice this morning with peaches, plums, and grapes. I drank about 8 oz for breakfast, and now I'm downing another 8 oz. It's very light and refreshing. (Oh, note my optimism!) I am drinking water like a fish, so that helps with the "full" sensation.

At church this morning, I walked past the do-nut plate, and for a minute I forgot I was fasting! I don't even like powdered donuts, but I guess it looked good because I was hungry. My hand reflexively reached for it and then I realized what I was doing. Tsk, tsk!

The first real test is upon me, though. Lunchtime. Everybody else is in there eating some terrific meatloaf I made the other day. And I had to prepare it all. But I'm good. I am going to work on some fiction writing to distract myself, so that's a plus, too.

I'm going to one of the shelters tonight to help out, so that should be a good distraction as well. And a Sunday nap- I'll work that in there too. Hopefully, I'll have enough to keep me busy and this first day won't be so bad.

All for now- will write again in the evening.

Tomorrow I will begin a juice fast. There are several reasons I've decided to do this, and yes, I'll share them! (I just love having a blog!)

1) In seven days, I will be thirty years old. Yeah, I know- crazy. My innerchild is in complete denial about the whole thing. Anyway, I have thirty years of living in this body under my belt, and it is time for an overhaul. Fasting gives your body a chance to rid itself of all the toxins you've put into it. Oh and trust me, I've got some toxins. All the preservatives, medications, and chewing gum I swallowed in the sixth grade. All that stuff has got to go! During a fast, the energy spent in digestion can be diverted to detoxing. And the body is smart, too. It will first use all the defective material in your body for fuel. All the mutated cells and tissue, cysts, etc. It burns all that bad stuff off. So, fasting has incredible health benefits, and it seems like an appropriate time to cash in on that.

2.) I want to spend the last days of my twenties in contemplation about where I've been in the last thirty years and where I want to go in the next thirty. Once the hunger pains disappear, around day 2-3, your mind becomes clear. You are not distracted by food, by the eating or digesting of it. I want to begin this next phase of my life with clarity. I think this will be a spiritual journey for me, too, though that is not my primary motivation. If it was, I wouldn't be writing it here- I don't like to parade that sort of thing around. I just think it will be an extra benefit.

3.) I want it to jumpstart me into a healthier lifestyle. I'll be drinking fresh juices and water, and basically cleansing my palatte. After this fast, I want to avoid as much processed food as possible, eat more fruit, drink more water. I don't intend on denying myself of my favorite foods, but hopefully changing the types of food that I enjoy. I don't care about my weight, it's not about that. I just want to be a good steward of the body I was given. I want to live a long time, and in good health. This seems like a great way to begin that.

So that's it. I decided to blog about the experience, because it will probably dominate my week, and I didn't want to hide it here. Plus, I figure with all you guys knowing what I'm up to, my commitment won't falter in the weakest moments.

I'll write everyday, and do my best to capture the process for you, including my physical symptoms and emotional state. (I'll try not to whine, but I make no guarantees.) I think it will be interesting, and maybe it will be something you decide you'd like to try also!

So that's it. Join me tomorrow as I begin APOGlite.

I'm so clever.

There are things that change us forever, and when they happen, we know it. It may be something as simple as a conversation, or as catastrophic as a hurricane.

There are three things that have changed me in the last year. Three "a-ha moments", as Oprah likes to say. (Okay, so she coined a good phrase. She still kinda bugs me though.)

I'll start with the earliest one, which I gleaned while on bedrest with my last pregnancy. My two friends, Rachel and Debbie rallied to the cause. They did everything they could think of to entertain me while I was confined. They brought me dvds, books, snacks, etc. They went back and read all my old blog entries, looking for hints about what I might like. They were so incredibly thoughtful, and it made me wonder when was the last time I was that thoughtful? My two good friends taught me how to be a better friend, and I will never forget that lesson.

My second moment was not that long ago, and it was through a conversation with my mother. We were talking about some new friends of the family, Pat and Ronnie and their daughter Natalie. They have befriended my aunt and grandmother, and through them, the entire rest of the family. They are so generous and welcoming, and sincere. They loved me before they even knew me, so when I met them, it was like I'd known them forever. They read this blog (hey guys!). Mom and I were marveling over them, and she said, "You know, they have it figured out. They know that you get out what you put into life." And it's true. They have given so much to our family, and in return, they are greatly loved and cherished. Wow. If you want love, you should give it. Great lesson.

The third and most recent lesson has been through Hurricane Katrina. It is about compassion and service. It took a hurricane to open my eyes to the needs of those less fortunate than me. It took a hurricane to strip away the racial lines that I didn't even realize I'd drawn. It took a hurricane to break my heart, to get me out of my own little world. I don't ever want it to take something so devestating again. And I don't ever want to draw racial lines in my mind again.

That was kind of hard to admit.

I'm glad for the chance to be better. Sometimes I feel like I'm living from one a-ha moment to the next, steadily working toward the person I want to be. I have so far to go, but each time I see something to fix in myself, I rejoice. I want those defective pieces of my soul pruned away, until what is left is pleasing to God.

I know this might seem an odd time to say this, but I love life. I really do. It's not perfect. It's not fair. And sometimes it hurts beyond measure. But it is ours to do with what we will. We are given a chance to exist, a taste of mortality before immortality. We don't know what a gift that is. I am grateful to be part of this complex, sometimes frustrating, but always beautiful thing called Life.

That's all for now. Saturday awaits.

On my way into Baton Rouge, I was inundated with coverage of what has become a post apocolyptic New Orleans. I cannot begin to describe how overwhelming it is to be even sixty miles away from it all. Baton Rouge has doubled it's population- we have 500,000 displaced people in shelters, hotels, everywhere. It's just... overwhelming.

And it's scary, too. Rumors are flying all over the place, you don't know what's true or not. How scared should I be? Everyone is paranoid, and justifiably so in some cases. There have been outbreaks of violence even here in BR. It's tense. It's not wise to be out after dark, though they haven't made an official statement about that. Businesses are closing early so their employees can get home before sunset.

You know, I've never really been that attached to Baton Rouge. I mean, I live here, but it's because Patrick is in school - and we'll move when he's done. But today, I'm proud of BR, and proud to be a part of this city. They've opened their doors, they've fed and clothed thousands of people, they've cried along with these people who have lost everything. BR is stepping up to do what needs to be done, and I have a lot of respect for that.

And so, today, when Jesse Jackson swooped into BR with his convoy of three buses, and tooted his own horn, I nearly gagged. His press conference in Baton Rouge was offensive in every way. I tried to find a transcript of it, but it's not out there. I'll keep looking and I'll post it when I find it. But basically, he was headed into NO to do what all us idiots over here haven't been able to do so far. It was extremely insulting, and a lot of people were upset at his implications.

The people still waiting for evacuation, oh Lord help them. It's so terrible. I saw footage of a woman holding her baby, waiting with a couple thousand people under an overpass for buses to come get them. That baby- it really got me. How did she feed her baby for the last four days? What about diapers? Did she have to find any scrap of cloth she could to keep her baby dry and clean? It just broke my heart.

Another thought is that can we PLEASE distinguish between looting for nike tennis shoes and searching for water and food? Some people are all upset (in their nice, air-conditioned homes) about police officers in NO that broke into gas stations for supplies. They needed food! They needed water! They're out there, without adequate supplies, trying to rescue people, risking their own lives! It's not the same thing as hauling out clothes and appliances and anything else you can lay your hands on.

Do I even need to say how despicable the looters are? What about the gangs of armed men robbing the banks and shooting at emergency personnel? Disgusting and stupid.

I won't end on that note. It's too negative. And for all the bad that is happening right now, there is good, too. People are helping one another, empathizing and connecting in ways that tragedy brings about. Christians are answering the call, loving their neighbors.

And that's a good place to start.

One of them is "Aunt Shannon". At first, that seemed pretty strange to me. It sounded funny, a tad contrived and forced. My niece and two nephews were so young when I married into the Trisler family, they probably don't even remember a time when I wasn't "Aunt Shannon". Eventually, as the years passed, I got more comfortable with the title. More little folks came along to call me "Aunt Shannon". I learned the ropes of the job: baby-holding, birthday pool-parties, filling sippy cups. I'm good at it sometimes, it's really not that hard! I do tend to be a bit late with the birthday presents, but they know it's coming.

But I don't get to spend enough time with them. That really bothers me.

So I thought I'd do something about that.

Tonight, I took the oldest three to see Willie Wonka. Bless their mother for letting me take them on a school night-- she bent the rules for me and I appreciated it. We have such a large family, sometimes it's easy to lose folks in the shuffle. So I really just wanted to take three of them, the oldest ones, and spend some quality time with them. (Next time, it'll be the younger ones. I'm fair.)

So, when I got there, they answered the door each wearing a t-shirt I had given them some time ago. It almost made me cry. These three kids, who nine years ago initiated me into aunthood, were excited to hang out with me. Yeah, I sweetened the pot with a movie on a school night, but who cares. They still wanted to be with me. And on top of that, they wanted ME to feel good so they did something they thought would make me happy.

And it did.

I hope they remember tonight, because I sure will. But, if this is one of those childhood memories that fades away, well, I won't worry. There will be more to remember, more times to giggle and joke and play.

Memories are there for the making. And I intend to be an aunt worth remembering.